Kim Fun Deal,
President & CFO,
Northern Adventures.

Dear Mr Kim, Kim Mr, Herr President,
(sorry, but I'm not too clear on how I should address your most-xcellentness)

My name is Hedley and I live in Gwacheon, South Korea.
I have recently seen one of your online travel brochures.
As a New Zealander, presently teaching small minds the art of English communication across the border, I would dearly like to experience the opportunity to travel to, and indulge in the superior intellectual and moral wisdoms of, your peninsula paradise.
My friend 'Slick Willie' also recommends your women as being very beautiful and cuban cigars cheap! Is this really true?

My dad wants me to apply for a job back home.
but I honestly feel that there is too much western ideology and individual freedom at work there and not enough good old leader worship and personal sacrifice for the common good. There hasn't been a decent workers' union forum since the 1950's either.

Anyway, like I said, I'm a hard-working English teacher (specializing in the difficulties associated with subject discipline in sentence order). I also have some other skills that may be of use, if required:
- 6 years building experience, mostly for the benefit of capatilistic entrepreneurs who did not fully appreciate the flaws associated with multiple car garaged dwellings (what good are their fine assets if they are not put on show for fellow citizens to appreciate),
- 3.5 years marriage to an obsessive, compulsive, alcoholic (experience that would surely provide me with good insight into dealing with american and russian politicians at your behest),
- 3 years sports marketing and management (are skiing & golf very popular at present in you country? I haven't been able to find anything on the brochure),
- 2 years marketing with a Bloody Pretentious oil company, that I won't mention the name of, which may be of interest to your burgeoning fuel industry,
- a good, solid mountain bike and strong legs, walking will suffice if biking is too extravagent (will I have any difficulties crossing the border if I have the correct visa issuance? Perhaps you would be kind enough to assist me with any proceedural requirements.).

In closing, I sincerely look forward to your timely response and look forward to keeping you posted on the daily inadequacies of Imperialistic truth bending from these parts.
Yours in servitude,
Hedley Hedspace.

ps Is it ok to sign off as HH in future?